Sunday, April 10, 2011

Leapin Lizards!

Just booked my trip to Mexico can I get a WOOOHOOO!!! I haven't been on a legit vacation in so long, I'm pretty sure this one is going to be awesome! So as I was thinking about the things I didn't do the last time I was in Mexico (for lack of having a pair of balls) my memory has so kindly brought to my attention para sailing and holding an iguana. My friend Sara just got back from Mexico and she survived the whole para sailing thing so maybe I'll give that a try...maybe (once I grow a pair that is). It looks like it would be fun, she said it was relaxing and I'm thinking the view would be spectacular. Every time I go to Mexico I tell myself I'm going to do it, and I never do. I go up to the boat, talk to the guy who straps you in and then I promptly chicken out because land is so much safer. I'm such a weenie! I have no problem diving underwater but flying over it while I'm being pulled behind a boat is another thing, weenie with a capital W. The other thing Ive thought about doing is holding an iguana. Why not do something totally touristy and hold a very large reptile? Kind of like this guy did, and it looks like hes OK right? Just think about how bad ass I would look holding a giant iguana!? Instant street cred, and a potential new FB profile pic.

So I wasn't really scared to do this because well lets be honest, people hold iguanas all the time..Buuut, apparently Iguanas DO bite! Just check out this guys hand! WTF!? Sooo NOW I'm scared of holding one for fear it might bite me. Doh! As if that wasn't enough check this out!!
Yeah that's right, iguanas fart and that video proves it. Soooo, what if I'm holding the little bastard and then all of a sudden it farts and then poos on me!!?? So much for street cred and a cool new profile pic. Any recommendations on things I should do in Mexico that dont involve giant reptiles and or falling into the ocean?

Irrational Fears Part 2

I felt the need to create an Irrational Fears Part 2 because I felt like these two fears needed their own post. So once again last week I was reminded of one of my biggest irrational fears and for some reason I just cant get it out of my head. There was a news video posted online about a woman who was walking in her backyard and fell in a sinkhole. I'm weird I know but I have a fear of sinkholes. I'm worried that somewhere, someday I will just be walking along and bam! Ill be swallowed up by a sinkhole. But in all seriousness you cant deny that these things are scary! I mean look at this picture of a sinkhole that formed in Guatemala last year, can we say SCARY! It just swallowed up some building and a road, no big deal right? Apparently not if you're a sinkhole, they just devour anything that they feel like when they feel like it.

This isn't the only large sinkhole that's out there folks, they're everywhere!! Just google it, then you'll see these things are real and they are dangerous! The other irrational fear I have is of traveling carnivals. I don't know where this one came from but Ive had it for a long time, where as the sinkhole fear is newer, its only about a 5 months old. Traveling carnivals scare me. They scare me because they move around from city to city and then they are set up and you're just supposed to trust your life to some machine that travels around creating fun. Ummm, no thanks! I don't ride on rides that travel around the country, they need to be firmly rooted to the ground in order for me to feel safe. I have no problem riding on a ride at Disneyland but you will not catch me on a ride down at Lakefair. Nope, no thank you Ill pass. They might be safe and I'm sure they go through a lot of inspections and safety tests but that doesn't make me feel any better about going on them. Do you remember that Alanis Morrisette song from back in the day, the song Ironic? Yeah I feel like she wrote that song for me, the one time I go on one of these traveling carnival rides will be my last because I will inevitably (because of the song) plummet to my death and it will be horribly painful. I just know it, and because that's how it works in the song. You're afraid of planes, but you ride on one, and then you die. Yep, no thanks I think Ill pass. Anybody humming that Alanis song yet, I know I am.