Sloth

I have a hard time sitting around. While I like to think of myself as a lazy person, I really dont get to be lazy as often as one might like to. I like to dabble in different things just to keep things interesting and I feel like I am constantly trying to do more than a normal person would do, just because I feel compelled by my inner crazy person to be on the go all the time. For example, I have a great full time job, my job is really fun and I enjoy it a lot. Sometimes it requires me to work nights and the occassional Saturday, which I dont mind because my work seems more like play than work. I often think to myself, wow they are paying me to do this how cool is that!? On a normal week I usually work anywhere between 40 and 45 hours a week. On a busy week it can go up to about 55, those are rare but they do happen and they are exhausting. On top of my regular job I also coach volleyball at the local high school in the fall which is a kick in the pants! I love working as part of a program that gave me a lot of good memories when I was going through high school. I coach c-team and as challenging as it is it isnt very stressfull which I appreciate, and the head coach has been very accomodating with my schedule. In the spring I coach 7th grade volleyball at the local middle school that is close to my work. As frustrated as it is sometimes I appreciate how I have to take a step back and evaluate my coaching ability. Coaching middle school has taught me a lot of patience and it makes me stop to think about fundamentals and what is really important for them to know. Somedays I struggle with this becuase the 7th graders that I am coaching are feeding into a fairly strong rival program of our high school and I sometimes feel like Im cheating on my high school kids because I have coached the enemy if you will, but I quickly get over it and consider it a friendly competitive challenge and test of my coaching ability. Spring and fall are really busy for me, with morning practices before work in the spring and late evening practices in the fall one would think that I dont have much time for anything else. Well I dont really, but I am the type of person that would prefer a jam packed schedule over a slow not much going on schedule. I recently agreed to play on three spring volleyball leagues on top of coaching spring vb at the middle school, Eek what was I thinking? Ok, this is a little crazy even for me but I have this thing about staying busy and I am driven by this insane need to have a full schedule and keep busy all the time. Weekdays for me are mostly all business with work, coaching, and playing ball so you might think that my weekends are my chill time? Meh, not really. Because I enjoy always having something going on I tend to pack my weekends full of fun things to do like hiking, biking, volleyball tournaments (as if i didnt get enoug vb during the week) running, shopping, dinner dates, grocery shopping, cleaning and catching up with the friends and family I have neglected during the week. I generally have my weekends planned so far in advance that last year when my good friend was trying to find a time to hangout with me I realized that I have too much going on. I tried to take a step back and not plan as many things but it was really hard for me. I ended up doing more sitting around than I enjoy and I felt like I was missing out on things because I was trying to have more me time. So Im trying to compromise and include my friends in on my busy weekends, whether or not they have noticed. Instead of doing what I was planning on doing anyway I try to invite a friend so that I can spend some time with them doing something fun, most of the time they are more than happy to oblige. I appreciate my friends and I appreciate that they understand my need to be busy. They support my need for a neverending to do list and they dont give me too much crap for not making as much time for them as I would like to. When I die I want to look back and know that I did everything I wanted to do and lived a full life, I want to have kicked lifes ass if you will. To me living a full life is doing everything you want to do. I feel like there isnt enough time in the day for me to get everything I want to do done so thats why I stay busy, because I feel like theres never enough time. I dont want to look back and think about the amount of time I spent sitting around, I want to think about the things I did, the memories I made and the people I got to experience those things with. Lucky for me my friends like to do a lot of the same stuff I do so that makes doing this easy. But I also dont want to get burnt out, I am concious of the fact that this could be a problem for me in the near future. I dont have a significant other that I have to torture with my lack of attention, the cat fills that role quite nicely. I dont have any children that I have to put first, as long as the cat is fed and her box is clean shes happy and I get to go on my merry way. I am lucky that my work is like play for all three of the jobs that I have and that I wake up wanting to go to work everyday. I have a quote that I repeat in my head quite often, "youll never reget doing it, but youll always regret not doing it." I love this saying because I feel like it sums me up, I keep doing things and I stay busy because I dont want to regret not doing them later and thinking back "man I sure had a lot of time I didnt use, If only I could get it back." I dont want that to be me, so for now Im going to continue being this crazy person who has too much going on because I dont think Id have it any other way.

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