Lost.

I lost a friend today. They didn't die, but I feel like a small part of me did. I'm really going to miss this person as I have really grown to love them over the years. But what is love? Is there more than one kind of love? How can you tell the difference? I believe there are many different types of love and you can show these different types in many different ways. I am sad that I lost my friend today, all because I cannot show them the love they crave and deserve. The reason I am sad is because deep down I knew this day would come, so it didn't exactly come as a shock but it is still sad nonetheless and it still doesn't make the fact that this person is gone hurt any less. I think on some level I've always known that I was going to lose this person, I just wasn't sure when. From the start the feelings were not mutual, but overtime as our friendship grew, my feelings for this person changed as well. I started to see this person as someone I could not imagine not having in my life because of the bond that we created, but It was never enough to change the type of love I showed this person. Unfortunately for this person my feelings never evolved past friendship, unfortunately for me this means that I have to find a new friend who will understand me inside and out regardless of whether or not I say anything or not. If you have ever had the opportunity to connect with someone on a level where they truly do know you inside and out based solely on intuition and details that they pick up, then you have known a friendship that is deeper than most. I am thankful for having gotten the chance to experience this kind of friendship, but sad that it had to come to an end.

So I guess this is goodbye. Goodbye my friend.

Hum de dum

Today's question of the day...

What gets you excited about life?

A lot of things get me excited about life, life is good. I get really excited about unique opportunities, and fun experiences. I also get really excited when I get the opportunity to share experiences with people who are infectious and have a positive outlook. I like to surround myself with happy, positive people because they in turn make me happy and feel good about life. I love the refreshing feeling you get after hanging out with somebody who has such a positive outlook and who is passionate or excited about something.

That is all....

I'm going to go to sleep now and dream about how much fun I'm going to have this weekend on my much needed/anticipated mini vacation.

Wheat thins sun dried tomato basil crackers FTW!

Random title but that's all I've got for this evening.

Today's thought provoking question of the day...

What's the most sensible thing you've ever heard someone say?

A good friend once told me this...and I'm going to mess this up no matter how I say it because nobody is nearly as articulate as this particular friend is when it comes to passing along wisdom, but here goes..When you're trying to make yourself happy there's always going to be someone you're not going to make happy; you have to worry about whats best for you. I used to beat myself up a lot when it would come to breaking up with somebody or doing something that I wanted to do that would make me happy. This wise friend told me that life is too short to worry about whether or not you're making somebody else unhappy, you have to do what is best for you. I realize this sounds a little selfish but its a really important lesson that I had to learn. It only hurts for a minute and you cant beat yourself up for wanting to be happy, so why should you be sad for getting what you want? I've learned to be with this now, and I feel like I do a better job of getting to the point, being honest about feelings, needs, and talking about what I really want.

This friend has also made me a better person by helping to teach me how to live in the moment. The phrase "be where you are" is something I try to live by everyday. The only thing I have to do at that very moment is to be where I am and do what I'm doing. Often times we get too far ahead of ourselves and don't stop to think about the moment we are in and whether or not we are fully experiencing it as we should. I try very hard on a daily basis to be where I am. I feel like life is really about the little things and literally stopping to enjoy the moment. When I was mountain biking the other day the trail had the most amazing wildflower smell to it. As I was riding along on the bumpy trail, the only thing going through my head was how great the air smelled, how much fun I was having and how happy I was to be there. Being in that moment was all that mattered to me and I'm so thankful I got to experience it.

Ohhh you're a sneaky one Google!!

After many failed attempts at posting new entries I finally figured out what was wrong. The people at Google being the sneaky internet gypsies that they are, have finally figured out a way to get me to download their infamous Google Chrome. Rat Bastards!! Who knew? Not this girl, but alright...Ill play your games Google, for now.....or until I decide that blogging is overrated and nobody really reads blogs anymore, or do they??

Here is my answer to today's thought provoking question.

Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?

Oh boy, I compare myself to a lot of people actually, but I only measure myself against myself. Ok, that sounds silly but really it makes complete sense in my head. Of course I compare myself to other people but I don't measure my happiness, success, or self worth to them because that's not very realistic. I am who I am, I am not anyone else but me and I like that. I think Judy Garland said it best, "It's better to be a first-rate version of yourself than a second-rate version of somebody else."

365 Challenge? Whaaat?!

Ok, so I think I might be a little bit crazy. I was surfing the interweb the other day for thought provoking questions to use during training with my new student activities team for use during a get to know you activity. My search efforts proved to be fruitful and I ended up stumbling upon a great little site that started to make the wheels in my melon move. Here's the site....check it out. On the site it has 365 thought provoking questions; essentially one for every day of the year. The author did such a great job coming up with out of the box questions that I felt the need to consider blogging about these questions, and possibly...*gasp* dare I say it, answer a different question every day..? Nooo, thats just crazy talk because lets be honest here people, I dont have the time to blog every single day which is why Im so far behind on my lovely little "to blog" list, let alone take the time to think about answering a "thought provoking question" on top of all of the other cool shit I do. But....for you, I think I will give it a try, just for shits and giggles because you know I'll do anything for entertainment. Forgive me if at the end of the week I end up answering 5-7 questions but I'm going to give it a try even if it means playing catch up...and just like a new years resolution, if in two months from now I have ceased to continue answering these questions well... just chalk it up to the fact that its the American way. I really like the idea of having to think a little bit more about things in my life, not sure why I feel the need but whatever I dont always have to make sense. So here it goes....

First question...

When was the last time you tried something new?

-Today actually; I went mountain biking up in Capital Forest. It was great, and my bike got a good beating from the trail. I had never been biking up there before so it was a pretty sweet new experience for me. Currently, my sit bones are all colors of the rainbow, or at least they feel that way, which makes sitting here blogging slightly uncomfortable. I blame all of the bumps, stumps and the lack of my diaper like gel cycling shorts.

Chatty Kathy

Do you ever feel like you have so much to say but don't quite know how to say it? One would think that because I have a blog I should be able to come right out and say whats going up upstairs right? Its easy, you're just supposed to think, and type, or maybe if you are like me you just type and think later...but that would be a negative, there is too much! There is too much stuff swimming around in my brain ship that I'm not quite sure how to process it. So today, for a short time in my life I just don't know what to say. Oddly enough, I am ok with it, a little frustrated but ok with it, maybe tomorrow I will try to talk and will have better luck.

Move bitch, get out the way!!

Dear Western Washington Drivers,
I have a bone to pick with you in regards to your driving skills, or lack there of. I just wanted to tell you that you suck at driving, and I do not. I don't know where you learned how to operate a vehicle but seriously you are really starting to irritate me and test my patience. As a commuter I am constantly reminded every day about the apparent lack of skill it takes to now pass the drivers test. I'm thinking I should be the one writing and administering the test, which personally would help out our public transportation system considerably since, well, there would be a lot fewer people allowed on the roads. If I were to be an instructor I think it would cut down on a lot of confusion. The first confusion being how to properly merge onto the freeway. Its not that hard, but I find that many WW drivers do not know how to merge, therefore creating a pointless backup on freeway on ramps. I understand you might be a little nervous about the other cars speeding towards you, and that you only have a limited amount of space to get up to their speed, but let me just tell you, your gas pedal will make your car go faster if you push your foot down on it. Try it sometime, that way those of us who are stuck behind your slow ass wont have to wait so long to get up to speed. Here's another tip when merging do us all a favor and use your blinker. *sigh*
Blinkers...They put them on cars for a reason, if you need to change directions or lanes this is when you use this little blinking light that will tell other drivers that you are doing something other than continuing in a straight line. No it is not just for decoration, and yes you should be using it. Think of it this way, if you use your blinker I wont use my finger. If you see that somebody is using their blinker and wants to get over, let them. It is not going to make your trip any longer and it is common courtesy. These are not your roads, you need to share them. Those of you that insist on driving very large road hogs of vehicles, need to understand that just because you are bigger does not mean that you own the road and are entitled to drive like the douche that you are. Really if you're truck is lifted and a 10 year old could walk under it without having to duck down, you're compensating for something and are a douche. Don't argue, you are what you are, you cant help it, and your car isn't helping you, we know. Larger vehicles are not entitled to cut people off and use the excuse, oh I couldn't see you, well that's because you didn't bother to check your blind spots. The bigger the car, the bigger the blind spots, as the driver of a commuter car you really piss me the hell off when you insist on cutting me off just because I'm smaller than you. I can see you, would it hurt for you to look at me, its all part of the job of being a responsible driver. My next pet peeve has to do with people who drive really expensive, over the top nice cars. I understand you have money (or a nice hefty bank loan) but that does not mean that just because your car is nicer, more expensive, trendier, does more cool things and farts sparkles doesn't mean that you own the road either. When you bought your car they didn't give you a "drive however the hell you want" card just because you dropped enough money on a car that could feed a starving country for a year. You got a car, not a right to be an asshole driver pass. Just because your car is pretty doesn't mean it cant be wrecked and that those of use with average cars wont hit you. You are not Danica Patrick and are not entitled to drive a million miles an hour just because you can, or because you feel like it.
Lets talk about the speed limit for a second. I believe that the speed limit is there for people who are driving whilst distracted. As a driver who has on occasion (almost everyday) driven whilst distracted I have found that it is a safe speed to go if you need to apply makeup, talk on the phone, change your ipod, drink a coffee, or eat a bowl of cereal on your way to work. (don't judge me, I'm a commuter!) I also understand that when you drive the speed limit you should not, and I repeat you should not be driving in the left hand lane, or the one next to it. It is not for you, it's for people who are in a hurry, or for people who are tired of driving behind your slow ass and would like to pass you. That my friends is what the left hand lane is for, its for passing! Its not for parking, which is what you are doing when you decide to drive the speed limit in the left hand lane. You know what is a good thing, cruise control, its amazing and as a commuter I often use it. What really irritates me is when somebody passes me and then gets in front of me and then I have to adjust my cruise control or pass them because the retard decided that they didn't want to be behind me and drive faster but wanted to be in front of me so they could drive slower, my speed didn't change, yours did. Don't make me mess up my flow!!
When it comes to parking, nothing is more irritating than somebody who thinks that because there is a line there they get to park on it. Well, actually, the line if for parking between and it would be really nice if you left an equal amount of space on both sides for the other drivers who would also like to park here later. Too nice?? Park straight you fucktard and leave enough room for the rest of us!! I will admit, I have been known to park diagonal or semi sideways on occasion but that usually only happens when the spaces are giant and are large enough to fit a semi. It's my spot I can park in it however I want, but you wont see me doing that in a normal sized spot or god forbid a compact car spot. Ooooh, compact car spots, these are for compact cars, not SUVS, trucks, minivans or tractors or for people who think their car can "fit" thus forcing them to exit through the back end of the car because they couldnt get the doors open. These spots are for those of us that have smaller cars and can fit into smaller spaces, it's a benefit of owning a smaller car, there are special spots for you that big cars cannot fit in.
Lets talk about roundabouts, I know they look weird, and I realize they can be confusing for you if you aren't used to using them but I promise they are a good thing. Here is a very helpful hint for those of you that are not used to driving in roundabouts, and its free...today only. Look at the signs!! They are not stop signs, if they wanted you to stop they would have put in a stop sign or a traffic light, which is why they put in yield signs. Those signs are there to keep people moving so that traffic slows down but doesn't create a backup like a stop sign or a light would do. They are easy to use, you just slow down a bit and hop on in behind the person in front of you, signal when you are done riding the carousel, and exit and go on your merry way. Easy, I swear! You do not have to stop and then wait a million years for the roundabout to be clear of any cars, that's really not how they work, and if you cant figure it out then maybe you shouldn't be driving.
The second to last thing I would like to say to my fellow Western Washington drivers is that it rains in Washington. If you haven't noticed by now then maybe you shouldn't be driving in the first place. You know what is awesome about cars is that they have these things called windshield wipers, and guess what! They wipe away the rain! Want to hear a good idea? USE THEM!!! They are there for a reason, they are not there so that you can hit your breaks and slow down to the speed of a child riding a big wheel just because you cant see, if you used your wipers like any normal person would you wouldn't create giant backups on the freeway because it rains a little.
Last pet peeve before I let you go so you can go place an add for your car on Craigslist because you just realized you probably shouldn't be driving anymore...Is for people who have road rage. Road rage is annoying, I understand you think you are a good driver, but the person in the car who just wronged you because they weren't being a courteous, responsible driver doesn't care!! They don't care, and cannot hear you yelling at them so its a waste of energy. Now I'm not saying I'm Polly perfect and don't get irritated at other drivers, I just blogged about irritations for shit sakes but I understand that I cannot change the world and make other drivers as good as me by yelling at them or getting angry. I can however, post a blog and hope that some douchy drivers read it and get rid of their car because they realize they aren't doing society a favor and should be using public transportation instead.
Do us all a favor, if you aren't up to the challenge of say driving responsibly then maybe you shouldn't be driving.
Sincerely,
Cranky Commuter